Silly Suckers' Lollipop

"Am I bothering you?" I don't know why I insist on asking her this everytime I ring her at 3 in the morning. I heard fumbling, some talk in foreign tongue, and then the call ended. I'm sad, but I can't find it in me to phone her back. She had a bad head ache this evening. I felt helpless, I'm used to seeing her cheerful and upbeat...in a way I can handle. It's not annoying, or fake, just crazy. And I love it. When I left her this afternoon, she gave me candy. I just bit off the end of a Silly Suckers' Lollipop and now my heart is heavy. I miss her. I spent two nights at her house, returned to Loretto and was back there a few hours later. It was as if I never left and I was so excited to see that Baby Maria was over. I think I found my new happy. Maria's smile is heavenly and T's embrace is pure protection from the harsh outside. It is now time to reherse my lines. I have to find something smart to say to AVK (my dad) when he asks why I am not coming home tomorrow night. I can't just say I'm going to T's house because AVK does not know T...heck, I hardly know T. Oh Daddy, please forgive me. Maybe tomorrow, I'd stop doing these crazy things, or maybe the day after that. I wonder if I could ever introduce my whacky T to AVK. Probably not...besides I still have to figure out whether my new friend is healthy, a rountine to land, or just another drug to help me escape...