Lack of concentration

Lately I’ve been doing this way too frequently. I’m writing nothing at all. I fill the lines of a page with useless rant. I hardly make sense to myself and no sense to the people around me. Now, not even pigeons would stop to listen to the voices that surround me when once we would communicate through vibrations and echoes in hollow spaces between buildings. This is all talk of some semi-peaceful days…days for me to miss. Those times to enjoy alone; I could walk absent mindedly, dreaming of faeries and many other unseen creatures. Am I delusional or can I trust that they really follow me playfully, laughing at the way I always look to be traveling impaired and crazy? And maybe they thought me to be friendless (which quite frankly I may be soon enough if I keep up with creating a safe distance between myself and all the friends I do have) and I guess they figured I could use the amusement. I blame them for all the occasions in which they made me appear as if I was talking to myself when in reality (or so I’d like to believe) I was simply letting them know that I knew they were there, hiding and jumping around like naughty hyperactive little children on too much grape Kool-Aid. This is all off-course from my initial train of thought. All I wanted to express was how distant I’ve been feeling lately. That should have been done in one sentence. Instead of all this joyful waste of life, I could have been studying. There is so much time to be productive but instead I throw it away just to indulge in mindless ramblings. I’m thinking of things but I’m not sure exactly what. This is when I know there is just too much. I can’t quite rope them together. Another failed attempt at translating sends me packing.

On a more positive note, I think I can anticipate a good solid five hours of sleep for a change. My eyes have not felt this heavy in a long time. This is well needed…and hopefully satisfying.